Memoirs of My Noonday Devil // 真昼に訪れる悪魔の回顧録
mineral pigment on washi paper・ink on envelope

A Letter a Day

14/02/1998:Deforesting a Seedling

31/07/2012:The first time I saw my mom sobbing inconsolably.

14/02/2020:not seeing is a flower, but knowing is mercy

A Letter a Day

Memoirs of My Noonday Devil  // 真昼に訪れる悪魔の回顧録
2022. 01
244 × 576 cm
mineral pigment, acrylic ink, envelope, ink on washi paper

Back in junior high school, I suffered from bullying and severe depression while struggling with my sexuality. Ever since, I’ve been having thoughts of ending my life although there’s always an idea holding me back, an idea of wishing there would be a message, a letter perhaps, something about “all the pain and suffering would pass”, cliché as it sounds.


I asked for a sign and I received nothing.
The last straw eventually breaks so do I.



14-year-old naive me thinking that my future self didn’t make it to the end therefore no letters. So I attempted my first suicide and failed gorgeously.

Fast forward to 2020, I held a funeral on my 22nd birthday to close the book on my past, and in October of the same year, I started a personal project by かく(writing/drawing) a letter to myself every day to record my feelings or thoughts, with the hope that one day I would be able to send these “letters from the future” that I could not receive at the time.


そして2020年、22歳の誕生日に葬儀を行い、自分の過去に区切りをつけ、同年10月、当時もらうことができなかった 「未来からの手紙」 をいつか送れるようにと、毎日自分宛に手紙をかいて、自分の気持ちや考えを記録する個人的なプロジェクトを開始しました。

Farewell, my dear self // さらば、愛しき我が身
2020. 02
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“I have died and dreamed
myself back to your arms where
what i died for sleeps.”

- Haiku 1, Wounded in the House of a Friend

A Letter a Day // 毎日、君に手紙をかいてあげる
2021. 11
envelope, ink on washi paper
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“...and then one day,
I took a piece of paper and poured some
red ink to my past,
stained the regrets and told myself
may these words be my last. ”

The three panels in the middle are the exact size of the envelope enlarged 11 times to represent the three most important days of my life, which separately, are the day I was born, the day I killed myself and the day I decided to get better. It takes a long time to realise how truly miserable I am and even longer to see that it doesn’t have to be that way.


“Memoirs of My Noonday Devil” is hope, a lifeboat, a mirror that reflects empathy and a personal journal for everyone to peek into.
But most importantly, for me,

it’s a reminder of all the reasons to stay alive.

「 真昼に訪れる悪魔の回顧録 」は希望であり、助け舟であり、誰もが覗き見ることのできるパーソナルな日記であり、エンパシーを映し出す鏡なのです。


exhibition view
2022. 01
Tama Art University Graduation Exhibition

Interviewed by:

PIGMENT TOKYO: My Personal Favorite Shin-iwa Mineral Pigments “Iwahi”

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© Nelson Hor Ee Herng